Malarie's Mission

So not much has been going on in my life lately. School's been the same. Friends have been the same. So not too much to report on those fronts.

I do have minor reports on the dating front though. RK and JS want to set me up with HW, who I met at KG party in September and I'm up for it cuz I think I should put myself out there. It will probably fall through like most set ups do but whatever.

Anyway, crush girl hugged me on Monday although I do have to admit my feelings toward her are waining.

Well that's about it.

-Suburban Bleach

Stale Laughter Fake Smile Soup

What can I say about life right now? Let's see. College applications are all in. It's just a waiting game now and I wish it was April so I would know if I got into either of my top choices. I've been playing guitar a lot. I posted songs online and now someone wants to book me at their bar. I haven't replied. RK got into her second choice college. I think she's the only person I'm going to truly miss once I end up at college. She's been like a sister to me for the past 13 years.

Anyway, my friends and I recently started an online tv series (our second, if you can believe it) and I'm in charge of editing. I love it. Firing up final cut and turning our crap into something watchable is so rewarding. When I was working on the documentary, I hated editing but that may have been because I was working with two people who didn't allow me to have any input. I love marine biology but I fear that I may gravitate more towards multimedia in college.

Not much else is going on in my life. 18 days until I'm 18. I'm still single and hating it. It's even worse now that Janet has a girlfriend. I am over her but the fact that when I liked her she was so anti-relationship and now has found a girl to challenge that kinda stings. But whatever, I've got crush girl to keep me occupied.

- Suburban Bleach

No Surprise

I got my first acceptance letter, to my safety school, University of Hawaii. They gave me a scholarship and put me in the honor's program so my dad is all team Hawaii now. I really don't think that I'm gonna go there unless I don't get into either Lewis and Clark or College of the Atlantic but I really hope that doesn't happen. Hawaii is way too expensive (although Honolulu's Chinatown is really nice).

I feel really bad for RK though because she got wait listed for her top choice. I automatically assumed she would get in despite some drops in her grades over the past few years. I really hope she does get in. I don' t want her to be forced to go to a school she doesn't like.

Anyway, on Friday there was major drama involving SB and basically everyone got really really pissed off at her but it was remedied on Saturday when a few of us hung out sans SB.

I should get some rest. I need to get unsick.

- Suburban Bleach

It's Been Years

Wow, it's been a really long time since I've posted but I have a really good excuse: my life has been extremely boring. Here's a run down of the past two weeks:

I learned that RK is the best person to hang out with on a Saturday afternoon if want to drink coffee, walk around town, talk about everything, and play guitar. That was probably one of the best Saturdays in a while.

I went out west to Washington for Thanksgiving with my stepmom and I met some of her family. They were all really nice to me. I checked out University of Washington with her great nephew. It was nice but too big for me so I'm no longer apply. Washington was so beautiful. I really want to go back and visit. If I get into Lewis and Clark then maybe I will.

Crush girl and I are working on an English project together with our mutual friend JS and a random girl who hasn't showed up for class in a couple of days. Crush girl loved my idea and got very excited about pulling it off correctly. Impressing her is defiantly progress of sorts, I guess.

That's about all that's gone on. College stuff is almost done and I'm so excited to have fun for the rest of my senior year.

- Suburban Bleach

Lights Out

I got my first report card of senior year today. I made honor roll, which is very relieving because I was pretty sure that this quarter was complete crap. Oh, and I got an A on my college essay so I feel super confident about sending it out.

So anyway, crush girl update: I've been trying to become friendlier with her and at this point we usually exchange playful banter about math homework and A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila before first period and high five each other randomly during school. I call that progress! Hopefully at one point high fives will evolve into make out sessions.

Oh shit, it's already ten and I have a ton of homework to do.

Goodnight

-Suburban Bleach

Most Brutal Criminal

I don't understand why but whenever there is a school shooting, I always start obsessing over the shooter. I did it with the Virgina Tech guy, searching all over for pictures, videos, and his plays. Now I've found the Finnish school shooter's file of stuff and I've been looking over everything. It's so freaky that these people are dead but they still left a mark on the internet.

I need to read something pleasant, like a webcomic or something.

-Suburban Bleach

Waiting By The Wayside

Last night was the Performing Arts Desert, which is basically a talent show that raise money for Performing Arts at the high school. RK performed for the first time ever on guitar and I was so excited for her. She actually made me like Dar Williams. There were some other really awesome acts but the fact that this one jackass was in like three acts pissed me off. Probably because he pisses me off in general in how he acts and treats people. He thinks he's so superior because he tours and has some music on itunes. There was another guy who was in five acts but I didn't mind as much because he doesn't act superior about his musical abilities (he is amazing at violin) and played a really good original song.

Anyway, today I took the SAT for the second time and SB drove me and RM. I think I did pretty well. It felt a lot easier than it did the first time I took it. My mom is really hoping that I get a 700 on each section so I can get into Lewis and Clark.

After the SAT I've basically just been playing guitar all day. I love it so much. I can't wait until I get good enough to play in front of my friends.

Now I'm off to KG's house to watch her three second cameo on a TV show at models.

-Suburban Bleach

Streets

Ugh, there was drama on fucking Halloween while we were all dressed up in fucking ridiculous costumes. The fact that it was over by the end of the night was even more ridiculous. Damn straight girls and their issues with their ex boyfriends. I need to befriend more lesbians.

So besides the drama, Halloween was fun. I was finally allowed to dress up (only seniors are allowed to dress up at school) and it was awesome. I loved my costume and I love that AF didn't back out. SB threw a little party (like she does every year) and we all joked around (all though it was very awkward because three people no one is actually friends with were there). We walked around for a little bit and RM and I decided to get some candy which was pretty weird.

We bumped into crush girl and she told me she loved my wings. She looked really hot in the corset she was wearing and I was so obviously checking her out so I told RM that I thought crush girl was hot and RM was like "You don't want to date her though?" and I was like no and then she was like "But you want to hook up with her?" and I was like Oh yeah. She said it was fine and she wouldn't tell anyone and that she is convinced that crush girl is into girls because she was very touchy feeling with her when they were friends. Sweet!

Bleh, it's been two hours since I wrote this post. I guess I forgot to post it. Oops.

-Suburban Bleach.

Math Won't Miss You

Sundays always make me feel horribly depressed and this Sunday is no exception but I feel even worse because it's my former best friend's birthday. We haven't spoken since last May and I have no plans to ever speak to her again even though she misses being friends with me. I don't think I could forgive her for what she did and if we were to become friends again she would just do it again.

I have a track record with befriending people who don't really care about me but it kind of hurts knowing that I invested so much time in a friendship that she ruined because of her desire to be considered cool by a bunch of assholes.

Whatever, it's over. Our friendship was really over last October after the PSAT.

In more cheery news, I went into the city last night with JS, RM, and AF and we went shopping around Union Square. I got a couple t-shirts from a thrift shop, a cool hat from an outdoor market, and some Buffy comic books from Forbidden Planet. There was a little drama but it was all settled by the end of the night.

Anyway, my guitar came in the mail on Thursday and I haven't stopped practicing since. I really want to get good at it. I used to play guitar in sixth grade but I gave up because I thought it was too hard but there is no way I will give up on myself again.

Alright, I'm off to explore the universe.

-Suburban Bleach

Sleeping Motor Boy

Wow, I've really been lax in updating this thing. Eh, whatever. It's my journal.

So, I went to Portland this weekend and just got back a few hours ago. It's a really awesome city. I kinda really want to live there one day. Maybe after college. I really loved Lewis and Clark College and it has given me some doubt about whether I want to apply early decision to College of the Atlantic. I'll probably figure it out by December 1.

I'm very very happy that I'm finally done with looking at colleges for a month and I only have one left, University of Washington during Thanksgiving Break. Yes! I can finally be social again. I have been horribly deprived of contact with my buddies outside of school.

Anyway, crush update: On Friday, basically all of my friends were either on an Italian class trip or not in school so I started talking to crush girl and I found out a lot about her that I didn't know like that she has no clue what underground pop punk or american hardcore actually is (despite claiming to be a huge fan) but the fact that she thinks she likes that stuff makes me like her more.

On a more somber note, a few really shitty things happened this week. First, OiNK, an awesome bit torrent website was hijacked by Interpol (the police, not the band) and the owner was arrested.

Second, which I was really upset over almost all of yesterday, is that Lance Hahn, one of the greatest musicians in the modern pop punk movement, died on Sunday. I love J Church and Cringer and I think he was an amazing musician and I really can't believe he's dead. The lines "I don't believe in god above or the devil below/And I don't believe I'll need some proof before I go" from his song "Blasphemous" have been going through my head the past few days. God, I just with shit like this didn't happen to good people.

Sorry that this ended so somberly.

-Suburban Bleach

History Is History

I hate to sound like a stereotypical lesbian but my cat is so freaking adorable. I just went into the kitchen to put up a pot for pasta and my cat was standing on the island and when she's usually up there I shmoose with her but today I just stared at her to see her reaction. She was taken aback and stood still for a few minutes and then started leaning forward like she was saying, "Come on, already!" It was so cute that I can almost forgive her for sneaking out of the house today.

Anyway, I think I may be crushing on someone but if my friends ever found out, they would freak out because many of them have a weird past with her. I don't really know her that well but lately I have been trying to become friendly with her because, despite my friends' issues, I think she's okay (and hot). I dunno what I'm gonna do about this weird crush thing. I'm not going to act on it because she identifies as straight (despite how much she sets off my gaydar) so it's not like my friends will ever find out.

Whatever.

-Suburban Bleach

Dreamt This Was A Castle

Wow, I haven't updated in a little while. Oops. I have been very busy though. Traveling, homework, college stuff. It can seriously cut into a girl's free time.

Anyway, last weekend I headed up to Maine with my mother to check out College of the Atlantic. IT WAS FREAKING AMAZING! I loved every little thing about it. Holy crap! Early decision for sure.

I also visit SUNY Genoseo on Saturday. Eh, it wasn't horrible but I'm excited about it or anything. There is a Tim Hortons in town though and they have the greatest donuts in existence (this is coming from someone who used to work at a donut and coffee chain).

Now I'm off to do something important, I guess.

-Suburban Bleach

Am I Missing Something

Ugh, I hate being sick, especially since I can't be absent from school. I hope I'm not sick when I go to Maine to visit College of the Atlantic. That would be lame.

Anyway, I went to Florida for the weekend to visit my grandfather and look at University of Miami. I did not like the school at all. It has 16 frats an 13 sororities. Jesus Christ! Not my type of places. Although my brother thought it would be a good school for me. I could never live in that weather. I'm a sweatshirt and jeans type of girl.

Uh, in other news, I learned yesterday that SG has signed up with the Marines and is shipping out in July. I can't believe it. He is a really nice guy, and although he isn't that good at school, I think he should have considered something else. I really hope nothing happens to him.

Bleh, on a lighter note, I really want a girlfriend but there is no one who I would want to date (beside Janet but she's basically out of the picture at this point) and there isn''t really an abundance of lesbian/bisexual girls at my school. I guess I'll have fun with another year of singledom. At least I have my friends.

Alright, I'm off to be tutored.

-Suburban Bleach

Pocket Bomb

This week has been very busy/interesting. Yesterday was the premiere of the documentary and my family loved it (although their opinions are very skewed).

I also found out yesterday that Tofu misses being friends with RK and me, which I find very interesting because I always assumed she hated us as much as we despised her. Its her fault though. She shouldn't have taken us for granted and completely ignored us because some "cool" upperclass scenester wanted to be her friend. Now she has no friends and she has to deal with it. Her mom waved to me at the library today and that was kind of awkward but I bet she wishes that RK and I were still friends with Tofu because we are such a better influence than the losers she replaced us with.

In other news, my guidance counselor completely crushed all my dreams and hopes of going to college. She told me every single one of the schools (that other students from my high school have applied to) I am applying to are reach schools. Come on, SUNY Stony Brook is not a reach. Ugh, now she wants me to apply to Florida Institute of Technology. Ew. I'm not even gonna look at it when I go to Florida this weekend.

Uh anyway, tomorrow will be awesome. I'm going see Barack Obama speak at Washington Square Park. I've been kinda on the fence about who to vote for in the primaries (I can't believe I will be able to vote in the primaries next year!) and hopefully this will sway me one way or the other.

I'm so freaking hungry. Peace out.

-Suburban Bleach

Her Last Day

I'm officially unemployed! Woo! No more waking up at 6:00 AM every Saturday and Sunday morning anymore... oh wait, actually I'll be getting up earlier now because my parents believe in red eye flights. Eh, visiting colleges is ten times better than working at that hell hole of a job with the god awful manager.

Anyway, I said before that PW has been annoying me lately but I hung out with her and the usual gang on Friday night and she told me she actually agreed with one of my points during our GSA argument. I also found out that everyone has been having a problem with SB lately, not just me. I'm very relieved.

Now I'm off to use el bano.

-Suburban Bleach

Half Fiction

That Parent Council thing was really annoying. I had to talk about the Gay/Straight Alliance and I was really nervous. Nobody came up to talk to me either after words either. Today there was an actual meeting and two new people showed up. That was kinda cool but DV was being a total bitch, trying to be cool and stuff to the underclassman. Ugh, I think she's acting that way because we don't hang out anymore. We have a very complicated past (we made out a few times and she had a crush on me at one point) but we don't have much in common anymore and she's very immature for a senior (though I'm not that great of a judge). Yeah, so that was annoying.

PW has also been very annoying lately. She's been acting way too superior and shit. She may be extremely intelligent but she doesn't have to be so smug about it. Ugh, her take on the GSA kinda pissed me off too.

In more positive news, I got an A- on my first AP English paper of the year. I'm very proud of it too because it was about one of my favorite books, The Executioner's Song.

Anyway, I really want a girlfriend but I'm too shy to initiate anything with anyone although I believe a freshman girl may have a crush on me.

Uh, I really need to study for my AP Environmental test. Good Night

-Suburban Bleach

Torn Jeans

The weekend was kinda fun. I hung out with a lot of people, did a lot of fun and crazy stuff, quit my job, and finally bought a new pair of jeans after two years. Overall, this weekend was a success.

Anyway, the first gay/straight alliance meeting of the year is on Thursday and I'm pretty certain that only the usuals will show up and that's like three people. On Wednesday night I have to go to the Parent Council and talk about the club. Ugh, first off I'm going to miss the premiere of America's Next Top Model and second I have nothing to say. All we really do in GSA is talk about Project Runway and watch movies. Oh man, I wish SB didn't have a tennis match.

Uh, otherwise life is pretty swell. School's not killing me yet and my friends have been awesome. My only qualm is that tofu (my former best friend whom I hate with a passion) has been switching into a bunch of my classes. Ugh.

That's it for tonight. I have a hundred pages of Pride and Prejudice to read.

-Suburban Bleach

Half The Time

I have been having some issues with my electronics lately. My ipod has decided to malfunction (conveniently right after the ipod classics were released) and my camera disappeared but I was able to retrieve it today to much relief.

Anyway, tonight was so much fun. JS, AF, RM, and I went to IHOP for dinner then drove around for a while (and spotted a bitchy girl in our grade being pulled over). It was great. I love spending time with my friends although I'm starting to have some real issues with SB. She can be very annoying and in need of attention at all times. She can also be kinda condescending especially when I told her I was applying to Reed. She basically said I wasn't smart enough to get it. Whatever, I don't even want to go there. I want to go to College of the Atlantic. It seems so cool and I'm going to visit it in a few weeks.

It's so weird that in a year I'm gonna be in college. I was looking at pictures of my brother and me when we were little and I can't believe that we're getting older. I still feel like a six year old sometimes. Oh man.

-Suburban Bleach

The Sun Comes Up

Oh man, I've really been lacking in entries later. Well school just started and I found out that as a senior you have a ton of homework from the get go (well only in AP classes). It's ten times better than work though so I'm not complaining.

Anyway, last night was pretty awesome. KG threw a birthday party and I got to see PH who is the coolest guy I know. I also got to meet the infamous HW who was just as excited to meet me as I was to meet her. Apparently RK hyped us up for each other. There was also this guy there who was kinda creepy and hit on me (despite being a total closet case and being aware of my orientation) and asked me if he could drive me home (Thankfully JS had already offered).

I kinda really bonded with PH last night, mostly over our gayness/lesbianess. We played the gay/lesbian stereotype game (kinda like this) and PH and I both failed (while closeted creepy guy passed with flying colors) because of his lack of knowledge of Margaret Cho and Barbara Streisand and my lack of flannel clothing and my knowledge of fashion. We also had a conversation about how there are no gay people in our towns and how hard it is to get a date and that led into a conversation about our exes and how stereotypically gay/lesbian they were (aka gay guys only wanting sex/lesbians wanting to get serious really fast). It was pretty cool being able to talk to someone about that kinda stuff.

So yeah, I gotta do some homework.

-Suburban Bleach

I Do I Don't

I was just listening to "I Just Do" by Go Sailor and man some of those lyrics really relate to my feelings towards Janet.

somebody took all the things that
I wish for the most and put them in you, in you
I know that I shouldn't like you this much I can't help it
oh well, I just do
I just do

I said that being your friend was okay
you called when I wasn't home yesterday
I offered romance to you by mistake
still you laugh at most every joke that I make

That was kinda pointless.

-Suburban Bleach

Uptown Subway

I'm so pissed off at my dad. He canceled the barbecue because he's been in a bad mood lately just because my step mom's friend is staying over. Ugh, it's not like he can't go in his freaking room and has to sleep on the couch in the family and has no personal space. God, if anyone had a right to be grumpy it's me and I haven't. I've been really nice to the kids and their mother and helped them out and hung out with them. It's so frustrating.

Anyway, in good news, last night was pretty awesome (although SZ and I got lost (which is pretty sad because I've been to the Knitting Factory a million times) and ended up on Christopher street but we did eventually get there). I'm so glad that SZ didn't have to cancel on me.

I have to go work on my AP Environmental project.

-Suburban Bleach

Clap and Cough

Bleh... last night I got the worst night of sleep I've had since the night I threw a party when my mom was away.

My step mom's friend and two kids from Italy are staying at my dad's house so both my room and the guest room are being occupied so I had to sleep on the couch in the family room where the TV is located and the two kids were watching Spy Kids.

I did get a third of my AP environmental project done and that's kinda good.

Anyway, work has been especially busy these past two days which is very surprising seeing as a Starbucks just opened up in town. I guess my workplace doesn't really cater to the same crow (but I do feel bad for the awesome little cafe in town that is like ten times better than Starbucks).

Speaking of my work, I know I said that I thought IM thinks I might be gay but now I don't because he hit on me yesterday at work when I told him I didn't have a boyfriend and wasn't looking for one. A guy who used to work at the same store as me (he now manages a different one) and would always hit on came in today with the former manager to say hi to everyone and he creeped me out. He told me I gained weight (as a joke, I think) and told me he loved me. Ugh, why can't I get hit on by girls ever?

I kinda really hate work but despite it I know I will be having fun this week because 1) I'm going to the Explosion's last show ever tomorrow night at the Knitting Factory 2) I don't have to come into work until 9 on Sunday and 3)After work my dad is having a labor day barbecue and my brother and one of my cousins and her boyfriend (and maybe my other cousin and her girlfriend) are coming up from the city.

Alrighty, I'm really tired so I'm gonna head off to sleep

-Suburban Bleach

Behind Curtain #

So this morning I went to my first SAT II math tutoring session and oh man, my tutor was hot! That really helped the hour go by.

I know it's really weird but I love older women (like ten or twenty years older) and I always fantasize about being in a student/teacher relationship (especially with my 8th grade social studies teacher) despite the huge stigma that surrounds it. I'm 17 though! That's legal in New York! Maybe in college my dreams will come true.

Anyway, I really hope I'm hanging out with my friends today because it's my day off (though my boss called and wanted me to come into today) and school is starting soon, which reminds me that I should work on my AP summer projects.

Okay, peace out.

-Suburban Bleach

Tomorrow Will Be

I hate work. I hate work with a passion but I swear I think a really hot red headed girl (totally my type) kept on looking at me (and I wasn't taking her order). Anyway, on the topic of girls, some random girl came in, I took her order, and I got a whiff of whatever perfume she was wearing and it totally brought me back to October 2005 when my first girlfriend uh, let's call her Daphne, and I had our first "date" (which really amounted to us fooling around at my house for six hours) and she was wearing the same scent (which is a really good scent and I'm kinda pissed that it's been ruined for me). Whenever a memory is triggered of her I always get so depressed because I completly broke her heart and even though we dated almost two years ago and I've dated other people I still feel really bad about it. This isn't even the first time this has happened at work either. Whenever "our song" comes on the radio, I usually get choked up. I really need to stop feeling so freaking guilty that.

So yeah, in other news, today was my last documentary class and despite the horrible critique my group got on our polished cut, I still had a really good time talking to everyone after class while we ate pizza and donuts (although E teased me horribly). I think I might actually miss the others.

The rest of the night was pretty boring. My mother and I had a late dinner at a Mexican cafe and had some pretty good conversations and then I came home and tried to make plans with Rebeka (now to be referred to as RM) and maybe JS, to go to NYC tomorrow and check out a hookah bar.

I'm tired and I need to get up early for SAT II tutoring. Goodnight

-Suburban Bleach

Successfully Delirious

I no longer feel like a social pariah. I hung out with JS and KG (who ditched me twice last night) tonight and realized that we mesh well together. I don't think I have hung out with just the two of them before and our personalities work well together. I'm the crazy and loud one always trying to get a laugh out of everyone, while JS is quiet with a dry sense of humor and only talks when she has something to say and KG is the middle ground. Even though we didn't really do anything I still had a blast with them just talking over ice cream. We are all also in the same AP Environmental class and lab and that is awesome.

Anyway, before I had a chance to hang out with my friends tonight I had to clean out my room at my dad's house because my step mom's friend and her two sons are coming to visit (meaning both my room and the guest room will be occupied so I will have to sleep on the couch in the family room). I also had to put in a new dresser (well my grandmother's old dresser that she gave me in May and my dad and I never got around to putting in) and move my desk so I was able to go through a lot of my old junk.

I've always known I was a pack rat but the contents of my old dresser were ridiculous even to me. I hadn't used it in several years because I'm lazy and just leave my clothing on a chair so almost every article of clothing was from middle school. After I finished that purge I was pretty much emotionally drained (it's a weird obsessive thing) and I realized I had to clean out the drawers in my desk which were filled with fast food restaurant toys that were at least five years old. I threw out almost everything except globe shaped yo-yo and a softball I found on the high school field when I was little. At that point I pretty much was ready to murder anyone in my immediate family, especially since I hadn't eaten anything since lunch (it was about 8:30 PM when I finished).

But after I ate dinner, my mom informed me of a phone call from KG and it completely changed my attitude about the night.

Oh and editing sucked. J was controlling, as usual and E was going crazy over little details (which isn't that usual).

I need to go to sleep.

-Suburban Bleach

All Too Often

I'm still kinda upset about not doing anything last night. My friend who bailed on going to see Uh Huh Her was supposed to go see Super Bad with me last night but at the last minute called me up and told me she couldn't go. And Georgia got grounded (how weird is it to be grounded as an almost senior in high school) for not doing her summer projects... which I should be doing right now.

I also have to edit the film today I am not looking forward to it. First off it's not even close to being finished and this will be the second to last editing session. Second E and J don't really include me in on the process and most of my ideas are shot down by J but then restated by E and accepted. I finally told them that I was upset and they made up a ton of lame excuses. I cannot wait until we are done.

Now I need to go back to sleep since I've been up since six.

- Suburban Bleach

Harder to Tell

Bleh, I hate work... but I do enjoy checking out and talking to all the hot girls that come in. I am pretty sure that IM, one of my co-workers, thinks I'm a lesbian and that I'm dating Janet (I wish) since he asked me how she was doing in college (I recited her latest livejournal entry) and saw us hugging and because I told him she was a lesbian when he asked me if I had any gay friends. If he does know, I'm glad because I have been very closeted since I've started working.

Anyway, I'm kinda pissed at one of my friends because she totally bailed on me and now I won't be seeing Uh Huh Her (featuring the awesome Leisha Hailey) at the Mercury Lounge tonight.

That's about it.

-Suburban Bleach

Everybody, Everybody

After reading someone's personal blog in which the blogger uses complete anonymity, I was inspired to create my own completly anonymous blog that none of my friends would know about. I've already got a livejournal but my friends read that so I always feel the need to censor myself. Hopefully this will work out and I won't forget about it in two weeks.

So anyway, onto my life.

Janet left for college a few days ago and I can't stop thinking about her. Well, for the past year I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. I really fucked up. Even after Georgia and Rebeka devised several schemes that would almost certainly end up with Janet and I hooking up, nothing happened.

Argh!! Why couldn't I be more upfront about my feelings with her a year ago?! Why did I have to wait until the last two weeks before she left to let her know how I felt about her?!

I have never had feelings for someone for this long I really hope that her absence will help make them go away. Hopefully I'll meet a nice girl who'll take my mind off her. Not likely after a year dry spell.

Goodnight,

Suburban Bleach