Me the Spy

So, really, not a lot of stuff has been going on lately. This is the jist of what's been going on:

• I had a really awkward pseudo date with HW that I thought was really bad and she thought was good last Saturday.
• I went to the St. Patrick's Day parade in the city on Monday. It was a lot of fun.
• I ran into an old Hebrew school/camp pal at one of my favorite cafes (which she works at) and she got totally hot since I last saw her in seventh grade.
  
• I tried sal with JS, AF, and PW but nothing happened. It was probably because we bought the least potent kind. Next time we're going for the 20x.
• The Creepy Closet Case guy (who I met at KG's party in September) apparently wants to hook up with me and I'm really tempted to go for it because it would be the most ironic thing ever.

So yeah not a lot of stuff to talk about. I really should try and figure out more to say in this blog because one day I will look back on these entries and be like "What the hell was I talking about?".

Oh, and only a week until I find out from my two top choice schools! Woo!

- Suburban Bleach

Hit

I try not to write too much about my former best friend, Tofu, on my blog but I was just listening to a song called "Dog" by Lemuria and the lyrics perfectly described the non relationship that Tofu and I have now from her perspective. Here are the lyrics:

I feel like you've died and I want you back
But I know that I will never see you again
Walking around trying to keep my mouth shut
While the pity piles up
Like a goddamn dog with it's tail between it's legs
Ashamed of trying to butter up your obituary
At least I can say I tried with you

The only line that doesn't work is the last. She never tried. She gave up on our friendship no good reason. I remember in eighth grade I said, "You'll be super punk rock and we won't even be talking to me when you turn 16."

Thinking about her makes me depressed.

-Suburban Bleach

Aerial

It freaking March. I seriously can't believe it. This year has gone by so fast. There is still a month until I find out about my top choice schools but hopefully this month will go by as quickly as every other month.

Anyway, I officially have a prom date. I'm bringing KG, one of my junior friends. She was a lot of fun to dance with at Gay Prom last year so hopefully we'll have as much fun.

So yeah, there isn't much else to report.

-Suburban Bleach

Stitch

The stress of all the deaths I've had to deal with last week have finally gotten to me. I think my coworker's death really set this off. My immune system does not want to work and I'm sick with some cold or flu or something. I hope it doesn't last since I have tickets to see Flogging Molly on Wednesday with AF and CB.

I really need something good to happen soon.

-Suburban Bleach.

Slant Invention

This week has been a pretty rough week. Sunday afternoon, my mom and I went down to Florida to visit my grandfather. We got a call at six am the next morning from my father informing us that my grandfather had died. We caught a flight back a few hours later and I spent most of my Monday and Tuesday laying about my house in shock. On Wednesday, I finally got to see my dad (my grandfather was my father's father). He seemed really upset. My brother came up from the city and was in pretty bad shape. Along with dealing with our grandfather's death, his girlfriend had broken up with him that morning. During the day, my dad would randomly tear up and at one point we for a walk at the Kensico Dam and ate at a diner.

Thursday was the funeral. It was postponed so much because my uncle couldn't get tickets up to New York until then. My mom's boyfriend, who co-owns a limo service, was nice enough to let us use a stretch limo for free so my mom, dad, step mom, brother, and the canter from the synagogue, and I rode down to Queens in it. The service was short and sad. My dad, brother, uncle, and cousin all spoke and my cousin seemed to be the most broken up about it. The whole thing was pretty depressing. I finally understood that my grandfather was dead. On the way back from the funeral, we stuck in traffic for an hour on some bridge and everyone else got back to my dad's house before us. It was really good to see my family again and I had a good time talking to a lot of my relatives. I learned a lot about my grandfather and my grandmother (who had passed away 13 years ago) that I didn't know. Later that evening, people from the synagogue came over and we had a minion. I was really suprised when I heard my brother singing the prayers. He is an atheist and does not like organized religion. I think my dad really appreciated it. Finally everyone left and I was able to go to sleep.

Today I've just spending my time watching tv, playing video games, and surfing the web. I don't feel contacting my friends and the snow storm encouraged my reclusiveness. My grandfather was a great man. He was kind and generous and I am truly going to miss his presence.

RIP Grandpa

1918-2008

-Suburban Bleach

Black And White Can't Capture Red And Blue

So lately I have been have been a little upset at RK. She, for some reason I don't understand, has decided to forgive Tofu. I feel kind of betrayed because the only reason Tofu is regretting do what she did to us and wants to be our friend again is because the people she ditched us for are at college and she has no one to hang out with. Her reasons are purely selfish and I don't want RK to be hurt by her again when Tofu ditches her off mid sentence because she sees one of her scene friends who finds cooler than us. RK says that she doesn't want to hold grudges anymore but Tofu deserves this grudge. She abandoned us in tenth grade and never even considered it was her fault that I was depressed and cutting and fucking things up with my girlfriend at the time. I don't understand how RK can go back to someone so despicable.

At least I didn't yell at her like SB did when she found out. SB was hurt much worst by Tofu because Tofu decided that she hated SB before she even befriended the scenesters and cut off ties much earlier with her. I don't think SB should have gotten so defensive and she shouldn't have called RK certain things but I do understand where she's coming from. Now they aren't speaking to each other but that will probably be over by the time break is over.

Anyway, I am heading to Florida on Sunday to visit my dying grandfather. I really really hate Florida but I know I should see him before he gets even worse. I haven't seen him since September but after getting out of the hospital my dad said he is not doing to well. I know I'm going to get really upset and probably be really bitchy to my mom. Oh well, it's something I have to do.

I have work in the morning so I have to get to bed.

-Suburban Bleach

Dissapointed

Ugh, I'm sick with Walking Pneumonia. It sucks especially since I have two projects and a quiz this week in school and I haven't been able to work on anything since I left all my stuff at school on Friday.

Despite my illness, I did go out and vote today. It was very exciting to press the Barack Obama button, making my support for him official. I can't wait to vote in the election (even if Hilary is the democratic nominee).

Anyway, I'm pretty sure Tofu sent me a message on my honesty box on facebook. It said "I wish you didn't hate me" and I automatically sent "I don't hate anyone" before realizing that it was very likely that it was her. I don't hate her but I dislike her immensely and I don't want her to think that I'm going to forgive her anytime soon. Ugh, high school drama.

I'm off to eat dinner.

-Suburban Bleach