Never Ending Always

Holy crap! It's May. How is that possible? This year has really flown by. I can't believe it. Next week is APs, then in two weeks my brother graduates from college (that is so freaky). After that its prom (thank god I finally got myself a prom dress) and finally I graduate from high school and leave my shitty little town.

The whole wait list business is killing me. I really really want to go to L&C but I'm getting super anxious. Everyday I come home waiting for the phone to ring, hoping its them. If it doesn't work out I always have COA. I visited it over spring break and I remember exactly what I loved about it in the first place. I will not be disappointed if I go there but I'm kind of scared that I'll get super bored living in Bar Harbor. Having NYC so close has spoiled me.

I really have nothing else to comment on because college stuff has been all consuming recently. I can't wait until graduation. Only one month and 26 days!

-Suburban Bleach

Bloody Mediocrity

I seriously can't stand some of the shit that my friends do. They don't need to fucking lie to me and tell me that nothing is going on when they are obviously doing something without me. It's so fucking lame that they can't just be truthful with me. I don't know why I hang out with them when they do shit like this.

FUCK!!!

...

I really needed to get that off my chest. I'm really pissed off right now.

-Suburban Bleach

Crash

I haven't written in here in a pretty long time but that's because I haven't had much to say lately. The most interesting things that have happened are that I went to Portland, Oregon and I barely passed my class this quarter. Awesome... not really.

Nothing else to report. I'm tired. I should go to sleep.

-Suburban Bleach

My Milieu

I've officially heard from every college I applied to and I got into College of the Atlantic (my second choice) and I was wait listed at Lewis & Clark (my top choice) so I'm calling up the admission office tomorrow to set up an appointment for an interview so I'll probably be in Oregon next weekend.

Anyway, things have been pretty weird with Janet lately. She was home for spring break last week and AF, JS, and I hung out with her on Friday. She and I were definitely flirting and it seemed like we were on the verge of kissing several times throughout the evening. I've decided I'm not going to try to analyze this any further than I already have since she a) she is in college and b) she's in a weird pseudo hook up/relationship thing with a girl she goes to college with.

Beside that, this week has been pretty uneventful. I wrote an 8 page paper in three hours on Thursday night and on Saturday I went to an adult video store with a bunch of my friends for fun.

-Suburban Bleach

Me the Spy

So, really, not a lot of stuff has been going on lately. This is the jist of what's been going on:

• I had a really awkward pseudo date with HW that I thought was really bad and she thought was good last Saturday.
• I went to the St. Patrick's Day parade in the city on Monday. It was a lot of fun.
• I ran into an old Hebrew school/camp pal at one of my favorite cafes (which she works at) and she got totally hot since I last saw her in seventh grade.
  
• I tried sal with JS, AF, and PW but nothing happened. It was probably because we bought the least potent kind. Next time we're going for the 20x.
• The Creepy Closet Case guy (who I met at KG's party in September) apparently wants to hook up with me and I'm really tempted to go for it because it would be the most ironic thing ever.

So yeah not a lot of stuff to talk about. I really should try and figure out more to say in this blog because one day I will look back on these entries and be like "What the hell was I talking about?".

Oh, and only a week until I find out from my two top choice schools! Woo!

- Suburban Bleach

Hit

I try not to write too much about my former best friend, Tofu, on my blog but I was just listening to a song called "Dog" by Lemuria and the lyrics perfectly described the non relationship that Tofu and I have now from her perspective. Here are the lyrics:

I feel like you've died and I want you back
But I know that I will never see you again
Walking around trying to keep my mouth shut
While the pity piles up
Like a goddamn dog with it's tail between it's legs
Ashamed of trying to butter up your obituary
At least I can say I tried with you

The only line that doesn't work is the last. She never tried. She gave up on our friendship no good reason. I remember in eighth grade I said, "You'll be super punk rock and we won't even be talking to me when you turn 16."

Thinking about her makes me depressed.

-Suburban Bleach

Aerial

It freaking March. I seriously can't believe it. This year has gone by so fast. There is still a month until I find out about my top choice schools but hopefully this month will go by as quickly as every other month.

Anyway, I officially have a prom date. I'm bringing KG, one of my junior friends. She was a lot of fun to dance with at Gay Prom last year so hopefully we'll have as much fun.

So yeah, there isn't much else to report.

-Suburban Bleach