The Usual Bad

I live in fear of the telephone. Every time I hear the phone ring late at night a million horrible situations go through my head. Is my grandmother dead? Is my grandfather getting worse? Did my cousin get attacked in Iraq? I haven't felt this anxious and depressed in a while. I really wish that my grandparents didn't get sick at the same time. I don't want to lose either of them but I know its inevitable. I wish my cousin didn't get shipped off to Iraq. I wish I could talk to someone about this but I guess writing about it will do.

I've never been more anxious to see my psychiatrist.

-Suburban Bleach

Apostrophe

I'm pretty sure things are starting to get better. Midterms are over and that basically means the hard part of senior year is done with.

Last night I had a lot of fun. AF, JS, and I went to the city last night and went to MoMA where we saw some French film. It was a great reprieve from how hellish this has been. Tonight should be awesome too. KG is having a Sex and the City party and even though I'm not really a fan of the show, hanging out with my friends will be awesome.

-Suburban Bleach

Black Eye

So um, I have a lot of updates from the past week or so

1. After getting to know crush girl a lot better, I find her extremely annoying. She really wants to come off as cool and edgy but it's really just attention whorish and she never stops talking about herself. I'm totally over her.
2. Janet and I have decided that she is Shane and I am Dana (without the breast cancer).
3. I have been sick for the past week, which really sucks especially since midterms are next week.
4. I got into University of New England with a scholarship but I really don't want to go there.
5. I had a major freak out tonight when I realized that my grades will hinder me from getting into any of my top choice schools.
6. (Probably the most serious) Last Thursday my grandmother had a stroke and just got out of the hospital and on Monday my grandfather got sick and is in the hospital. My dad is going down to Florida to visit my grandfather next week and my mom has been spending most of her time with my grandmother.
   

So yeah, I'm really horribly stressed out lately and I'm pretty depressed. I really don't feel like there is anything good to look forward to in the coming weeks and I can't wait until school is over.

-Suburban Bleach

On The Counter

God must love irony. Why? Because since Janet has been home from break (and I have lost all desire to be with her) we have been hanging out so much more than we ever were when I had a huge crush on her. During December break we hung out almost everyday, which compared to when she was still in high school is like 1000x more. We've become much closer friends and we've both learned a lot more about each other.

I hope I'm not coming off as bitchy or something because I do really like that our friendship has strengthened but why couldn't this happen a year ago when I had a thing for her. Now she's in a secret relationship with one of my friend's sexually confused younger sister (not the same girl she was dating in December) and I'm preoccupied with crush girl.

Speaking of crush girl, I will be seeing a lot more of her now because building crew has started. Today was the first day and I already feel like I'm making progress with her. We talked a lot and she didn't want to leave when her ride came. Go progress.

Now I'm off to finish my APES lab.

-Suburban Bleach.

Age Of Spitting

I've been neglecting this blog a bit. Oops.

Holiday break is over and it's pretty upsetting. I had so much fun hanging out with my friends and family last week. Some of the highlights were:

• Inviting SZ and RK over my house for Christmas eve and having the most Jews could have on Christmas
  
• Going to a park with JS, AF, and SB and trying to start a fire then going to a tea house, and finally ending up at SB's house with MN and Janet as well watching Titanic
• Getting dinner with JS, AF, RM, and JR at Cosi's and getting a suprise birthday ice cream from the waiter, then losing my bubble tea virginity, and playing Rock Band until midnight
• My birthday party, which included a lot of frank discussion about sex, playing Rock Band, and staying up until five am.
• Going to the city with AF, JS, and Janet and getting my lip pierced at St. Mark's Place and hanging around Washington Square Park and Union Square Park until we headed back to Janet's house to watch the ball drop.

I can't believe it's already 2008. Soon I'll find out whether I get into either College of the Atlantic or Lewis & Clark, and then I'll graduate and then I'll have the best summer ever with all of my friends.

Life is going by so fast.

-Suburban Bleach