Miller St.

So, yeah, broken computers really suck. I'm so glad my new AC adapter came yesterday or I would probably be going crazy right now. I'm seriously way too addicted to the internet.

These past two weeks haven't been overtly interesting. There has been a lot of drama that I blamed on everyone getting their period but its still around so I guess not. AF kinda hates Janet now because of how she treated NR (AF is like sisters with JR, NR older sister) and doesn't like how strong she is coming on to JS. JS doesn't want to be around Janet as much anymore either because of that and because of some weird livejournal entries that Janet has written that make it seem like she has a chance with JS (which according JS, she doesn't). So yeah, basically everyone hates Janet. It kinda sucks.

Other than that, I threw a sorta lame house party on Friday night because my mom was gone for the weekend. CB got super drunk and started freaking out about her sister (they have a lot of issues to work out) and then tried to steal some of my mom's liquor until she found a half filled beer can so she could get "completly drunk" according to her.

I also met FT's friend GB from Panama. She was really cool. We hung out on Sunday and at like 2:00 am on Monday the three of us went tagging. It was very cool and a lot of fun but it messed up my sleep schedule.

Since Monday I've pretty much been hanging around my house, working, or spending time at the cafe talking/flirting with BP (who I still kinda have a crush on). I'm really just trying to kill time until college. Only one month.

-Suburban Bleach

Toxic Home

I really need this summer to be over. I need to be at school. I need a new experience.

I love my friends and I'm having a great summer but it's basically just a waiting game right now and everything I'm doing is just to make the time go by faster.

Everything is just so frustrating. I wish all my friends got along with each other. I wish there was no stupid drama. I wish that people didn't do stupid shit.

I wish AF didn't drink to the point of blacking out.
I wish Janet didn't flirt with me.
I wish CB wouldn't text me at 2 in the morning.
I wish SB would stop trying so hard and just be herself.
I wish JS was more aware of the people around her.
I wish FT wasn't leaving forever.
I wish RK could stand up for herself.

...

I wish I could tell people what was really on my mind.

-Suburban Bleach

Trouble in the Sky

Fuck, I hate being so emotional. I feeling this way. God why does FT want to fuck up her life? First she gets expelled from the best catholic high school in NYC and then today she was fucking arrested. God, I can't imagine being in AF's place, watching FT be put in handcuffs and escorted by two police officers. I know FT has a short fuse but why would she fuck with cops? Oh god.

I really I hope that I'll see her again but the chances are slim. Her parents already enrolled her in a school in Nebraska and now after this incident, she'll probably be there next week.

Fuck. This summer was supposed to be amazing.

-Suburban Bleach

Faithful Elevator

Ever since Janet and I have becoming closer as friends, I've had this hope that our friendship would turn into something more. For the first time ever I have seen her only as a friend with no desire to be with her. I think this has something to do with the fact that the other day she told me I was one of her best friends. I would never want to compromise our strong friendship for some random physical urges I get once in a while. I guess the whole Janet saga is kind of over.

So yeah, anyway, this summer has been really pointless so far. All I've done is work and hang out with people. The most memorable thing was going to see The Edge of Heaven with JS and Janet. It was really frustrating but good.

Other than that, a bunch of us have been planning a trip to Montreal and tonight we finalized all our plans. I am so psyched. It's gonna be awesome.

-Suburban Bleach

Runaway

The weekend was a lot of fun. All of the graduation parties were really great. At SB's I talked to an ex of mine for the first time in over 2 and a half years. I'm really glad that we're no longer on bad terms. I never wanted to be on bad terms with her (or the other girl I dated).

So yeah, um I also realized I'm really fickle and I crush on a new girl, like, every other week. The crush of the moment is BP, a sophomore girl who I have lusted over since she was a freshman. I told her that at SB's party and she was very flattered. She told me she was kind of confused about her sexuality and doesn't know if she likes boy or girls. Both today and yesterday we've run into each other at a cafe we both frequent and spent a lot of time talking. I enjoy talking to her a lot and I hope we actually make plans to hang out sometime. She's supercute, funny, and intelligent. Totally a perfect catch if she were sure of her sexual orientation (plus she prefers me to Janet (unlike every other girl in her grade) because I'm less aggressive).

So yeah, in Janet news, um, I still get kind of depressed when I see her and FT cuddle together or kiss or anything. It may because I wish I had someone to do that with or that I still have unresolved feelings for Janet. Truthfully I'm not sure. I think I'll always have a place in my heart for her because she's so unattainable.

Ugh... I really need to get out of this town and go off to college. Hopefully I'll meet a nice girl there.

-Suburban Bleach