Clap and Cough

Bleh... last night I got the worst night of sleep I've had since the night I threw a party when my mom was away.

My step mom's friend and two kids from Italy are staying at my dad's house so both my room and the guest room are being occupied so I had to sleep on the couch in the family room where the TV is located and the two kids were watching Spy Kids.

I did get a third of my AP environmental project done and that's kinda good.

Anyway, work has been especially busy these past two days which is very surprising seeing as a Starbucks just opened up in town. I guess my workplace doesn't really cater to the same crow (but I do feel bad for the awesome little cafe in town that is like ten times better than Starbucks).

Speaking of my work, I know I said that I thought IM thinks I might be gay but now I don't because he hit on me yesterday at work when I told him I didn't have a boyfriend and wasn't looking for one. A guy who used to work at the same store as me (he now manages a different one) and would always hit on came in today with the former manager to say hi to everyone and he creeped me out. He told me I gained weight (as a joke, I think) and told me he loved me. Ugh, why can't I get hit on by girls ever?

I kinda really hate work but despite it I know I will be having fun this week because 1) I'm going to the Explosion's last show ever tomorrow night at the Knitting Factory 2) I don't have to come into work until 9 on Sunday and 3)After work my dad is having a labor day barbecue and my brother and one of my cousins and her boyfriend (and maybe my other cousin and her girlfriend) are coming up from the city.

Alrighty, I'm really tired so I'm gonna head off to sleep

-Suburban Bleach

Behind Curtain #

So this morning I went to my first SAT II math tutoring session and oh man, my tutor was hot! That really helped the hour go by.

I know it's really weird but I love older women (like ten or twenty years older) and I always fantasize about being in a student/teacher relationship (especially with my 8th grade social studies teacher) despite the huge stigma that surrounds it. I'm 17 though! That's legal in New York! Maybe in college my dreams will come true.

Anyway, I really hope I'm hanging out with my friends today because it's my day off (though my boss called and wanted me to come into today) and school is starting soon, which reminds me that I should work on my AP summer projects.

Okay, peace out.

-Suburban Bleach

Tomorrow Will Be

I hate work. I hate work with a passion but I swear I think a really hot red headed girl (totally my type) kept on looking at me (and I wasn't taking her order). Anyway, on the topic of girls, some random girl came in, I took her order, and I got a whiff of whatever perfume she was wearing and it totally brought me back to October 2005 when my first girlfriend uh, let's call her Daphne, and I had our first "date" (which really amounted to us fooling around at my house for six hours) and she was wearing the same scent (which is a really good scent and I'm kinda pissed that it's been ruined for me). Whenever a memory is triggered of her I always get so depressed because I completly broke her heart and even though we dated almost two years ago and I've dated other people I still feel really bad about it. This isn't even the first time this has happened at work either. Whenever "our song" comes on the radio, I usually get choked up. I really need to stop feeling so freaking guilty that.

So yeah, in other news, today was my last documentary class and despite the horrible critique my group got on our polished cut, I still had a really good time talking to everyone after class while we ate pizza and donuts (although E teased me horribly). I think I might actually miss the others.

The rest of the night was pretty boring. My mother and I had a late dinner at a Mexican cafe and had some pretty good conversations and then I came home and tried to make plans with Rebeka (now to be referred to as RM) and maybe JS, to go to NYC tomorrow and check out a hookah bar.

I'm tired and I need to get up early for SAT II tutoring. Goodnight

-Suburban Bleach

Successfully Delirious

I no longer feel like a social pariah. I hung out with JS and KG (who ditched me twice last night) tonight and realized that we mesh well together. I don't think I have hung out with just the two of them before and our personalities work well together. I'm the crazy and loud one always trying to get a laugh out of everyone, while JS is quiet with a dry sense of humor and only talks when she has something to say and KG is the middle ground. Even though we didn't really do anything I still had a blast with them just talking over ice cream. We are all also in the same AP Environmental class and lab and that is awesome.

Anyway, before I had a chance to hang out with my friends tonight I had to clean out my room at my dad's house because my step mom's friend and her two sons are coming to visit (meaning both my room and the guest room will be occupied so I will have to sleep on the couch in the family room). I also had to put in a new dresser (well my grandmother's old dresser that she gave me in May and my dad and I never got around to putting in) and move my desk so I was able to go through a lot of my old junk.

I've always known I was a pack rat but the contents of my old dresser were ridiculous even to me. I hadn't used it in several years because I'm lazy and just leave my clothing on a chair so almost every article of clothing was from middle school. After I finished that purge I was pretty much emotionally drained (it's a weird obsessive thing) and I realized I had to clean out the drawers in my desk which were filled with fast food restaurant toys that were at least five years old. I threw out almost everything except globe shaped yo-yo and a softball I found on the high school field when I was little. At that point I pretty much was ready to murder anyone in my immediate family, especially since I hadn't eaten anything since lunch (it was about 8:30 PM when I finished).

But after I ate dinner, my mom informed me of a phone call from KG and it completely changed my attitude about the night.

Oh and editing sucked. J was controlling, as usual and E was going crazy over little details (which isn't that usual).

I need to go to sleep.

-Suburban Bleach

All Too Often

I'm still kinda upset about not doing anything last night. My friend who bailed on going to see Uh Huh Her was supposed to go see Super Bad with me last night but at the last minute called me up and told me she couldn't go. And Georgia got grounded (how weird is it to be grounded as an almost senior in high school) for not doing her summer projects... which I should be doing right now.

I also have to edit the film today I am not looking forward to it. First off it's not even close to being finished and this will be the second to last editing session. Second E and J don't really include me in on the process and most of my ideas are shot down by J but then restated by E and accepted. I finally told them that I was upset and they made up a ton of lame excuses. I cannot wait until we are done.

Now I need to go back to sleep since I've been up since six.

- Suburban Bleach

Harder to Tell

Bleh, I hate work... but I do enjoy checking out and talking to all the hot girls that come in. I am pretty sure that IM, one of my co-workers, thinks I'm a lesbian and that I'm dating Janet (I wish) since he asked me how she was doing in college (I recited her latest livejournal entry) and saw us hugging and because I told him she was a lesbian when he asked me if I had any gay friends. If he does know, I'm glad because I have been very closeted since I've started working.

Anyway, I'm kinda pissed at one of my friends because she totally bailed on me and now I won't be seeing Uh Huh Her (featuring the awesome Leisha Hailey) at the Mercury Lounge tonight.

That's about it.

-Suburban Bleach

Everybody, Everybody

After reading someone's personal blog in which the blogger uses complete anonymity, I was inspired to create my own completly anonymous blog that none of my friends would know about. I've already got a livejournal but my friends read that so I always feel the need to censor myself. Hopefully this will work out and I won't forget about it in two weeks.

So anyway, onto my life.

Janet left for college a few days ago and I can't stop thinking about her. Well, for the past year I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. I really fucked up. Even after Georgia and Rebeka devised several schemes that would almost certainly end up with Janet and I hooking up, nothing happened.

Argh!! Why couldn't I be more upfront about my feelings with her a year ago?! Why did I have to wait until the last two weeks before she left to let her know how I felt about her?!

I have never had feelings for someone for this long I really hope that her absence will help make them go away. Hopefully I'll meet a nice girl who'll take my mind off her. Not likely after a year dry spell.

Goodnight,

Suburban Bleach